Saturday, July 23, 2011

Our Summer

I noticed recently that a lot of our weekends are becoming the same.  That happens sometimes though, especially when you go through what we've been dealing with.  Earlier this year, in April, my brother-in-law Sam was diagnosed with lung cancer.  His response when the doctor told him he had less than a year "It's just a little muddy water in the road, we'll get through this."

For some people, a brother-in-law being diagnosed with something like this would affect them but maybe not as bad as it has us.  Sam married my sister when I was 5, maybe 6.  (My sister is 20 years older than me.)  To me though, he's not my brother-in-law.  He's my dad.  No, he wasn't with my mom at any point in time like some freaky talk show.  He raised me though.  He taught me to ride a bike, taught me to drive a stick shift, and he was always there when I needed a dad.  (My real father wasn't.)

My kids don't call him uncle, he is and always will be there Papa.  He was at the hospital for the birth of both of my daughters as well as my son.  He's been so much of a dad to me that my son is named after him. 

Every weekend since his diagnosis his sister's have come to visit.  We have spent every weekend grilling out and just enjoying time together.  It makes you think though, everytime we do this will it be the last?  We went shopping for my son's birthday and I fought back tears wondering if this would be the last year Papa went with us.  The same thoughts with Easter, 4th of July, Father's day and coming in September the girls birthdays. 

It's a hard road to be on.  But, I want to believe my Papa.  It's just a little muddy water in the road and we'll get through this.  That's all you CAN do, is have faith.  Right?

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